I feel so numb right now… @
I still feel bad but I guess… It’s okay to feel bad. If you never bad, you can never appreciate how good it feels to feel good.
I wish I had someone to share these negative feelings with; without harming them or feeling like they will be used against me. I Know I’m using him like a crutch and I need to stop. It’s not healthy. He can’t make me happy, only I can make me happy, right?
I tried to settle down by editing the theme on my blog
I think it worked…
Sometimes I truly hate myself. Not the person that I want to be. I want to be strong and confident and reassured in myself. I don’t know how to bring out the best in me. I want to do my best. Sometimes it feels like my best isn’t good enough.
I learned to be someone’s friend, to be someone’s lover, to be a part of someone’s family. you have to learn to accept this person unconditionally or walk away. But why is it easier to walk away from some and not others? Deep down we all want to be important and special to someone else. As much as we should love ourselves to a point where we shouldn’t need someone else. We want to be wanted and will go through anything to get that love sometimes. We’ll let someone abuse us. Hurt us. Make you feel like you shouldn’t have even existed. And that we have gone to the hope that this person will do all they can do and more in return.
A plate is dropped on the floor. The plate is now broken. An apology is given. The plate is still broken on the floor. Will you repair the plate or give another apology?